and the biggest bullshit advice ever...

here it goes:
If you find yourself desperately chatting up that clothing-outlet clerk on February 13, “you’re being driven by your emotional programming and the media to romantically force the issue, which will lead to an impulsive and potentially disappointing relationship,” says Debbie Mandel, author of Turn on Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul. “Relationships take time and aren’t fueled by desperation and deadlines. You’re better off going to the gym, because exercise releases stress, raises endorphins and makes you look better.”
I mean seriously, how can they pay this person to give such crappy advice??? In fact, it should be banned.But I quite like the expression "media romantically forcing the issue", I should use it in conversation some time soon...

my love life...

is bit slow at the moment (everyone reading this blog probably realized that). I cant even remeber the last time I had a date (probably cos it was awful and nothing came out of it) which means I should make a bit of effort (or the single guys I dont know yet should anyway...). I just read another inspiring article on how to enjoy Valentines day (coming creepily soon) when youre single (sounds like an oxymoron to me - but apparently not to MSN people).
Few memorable quotes:
Make a list of all the things you personally have to celebrate about being single this year. For instance, I can celebrate not having to feign excitement over red roses and chocolate truffles from my ex when, if he had ever paid any attention, he’d have known I like Gerbera daisies and caramel corn.
(Yeah getting roses and choccies is just so bad, I should be happy not to have received any in my life and perhaps celebrate the fact that being single means lack of sex!)
We all know the image of the stereotypical single on Valentine’s Day moping around in sweats. Stop thinking of that as depressing and instead, consider it a welcome invitation to do exactly that for 24 hours. You don’t have to brush your hair or your teeth, and the day is yours to wallow in self-pity if you please.
(Isnt that what single people do all the time???well at least people like me)
and finally my favourite:
One of my favorite things about being single on Valentine’s Day is the Anti-Valentine’s Day Party. Have you heard of this phenom? Some lucky single person — usually whoever in your group has most recently been through a breakup — gets to throw this party. He or she invites all his or her single friends, who bring more single friends, and so on.
(great idea but in reality there would probably be just me and Zuzana so we might as well get drunk in a pub rather than throw a party for two sad and lonely losers - in fact none of has been through a proper breakup recently as none of us had a bf for ages so there is no one to throw the party in the first place).
Quotes are taken from http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=5611&menuid=1&lid=428 (read if you dare - at your own risk).

Three things I want to tell you...

,this boring and neverending Friday.
1) You know the Stella McCartney for H+M collection that sold out within an hour London and got people queueing (never know how to spell this bloody word) from 7 am in front of the store? (well even if you dont know that it happened according to Vogue) well I got three items of the collection yesterday on sale with 50-70 percent discount...Jealous??? (actually there are still racks full of some of the clothes so once in million years Prague became the ultimate fashion central. London eat your heart out!!!) I was also tempted to buy more stuff and sell it on ebay and make huge profits but frankly I cant be bothered
2) Saw Pride and Prejudice yesterday. Those who love BBC version will be disappointed and will take them a while to get used to characters looking differently. Mr.Darcy was still handsome though, Mr.Bingley actually more comical and funnier and Mr.Collins not so bad (just short but not ugly). Some scenes were bit OTT (especially in the end - Darcy walking in the morning mist with chest hair on display to hook up with Lizzy who also happened to wake up at 5 am). Good film to see on a date although your date might find it bit boring (no naked girls - Keira´s quite flat-chested - smarties under carpet as Mickal would say - no fast cars, guns,etc.)
3) I´m impressed with the website love.ivillage.com - its full of articles answering these dreadful questions women constantly think about: does kissing count as cheating? what he´s thinking? (no need for a whole article in this case - I can tell you its women, sex, beer and football), why we love them? (do we???), do husbands get sick of their wives?, how to tell if hes into you (easy, if he is you wouldnt be probably reading these articles in the first place, you´d be on a date/in bed/on the phone with him...), Am I a great date? (surely not if you have to ask that question), Is sex on the first date OK?, etc.
I even think the articles are not so bad although they all revolve about these dating rules which I hate cos they dont allow to be yourself but a dating machine. Plus increased consumption of these articles can lead to datelessness cos you start worrying, wondering and questioning to much!

Yet another fab idea...

apart from those lists in the previous post I just had another brilliant idea. I will make a dating guide to Prague. Currently, Im doing research, going out every weekend to a different club or bar so that I can put together Top Ten (or Twenty or Thirty - nah, there arent that many clubs in Prague) places to go to meet (straight) men (and get a date too). My wonderful comments will be included, of course...watch this space!

I have to do this...

before somebody else does! (Bad if someone has done it already) Wonder what I´m talking about? Two lists: list of most elaborate/sophisticated/difficult-to-see-through techniques guys employ to get a girl in the bed and a list of the most ridiculous/obvious/so-lame-it-hurts T.G.E.T.G.A.G.I.T.B (see above to decode).
It is possible such lists do exist, however, mostly you come across lists of worst ways to get dumped, lamest excuses to cancel a date, etc. I believe my lists are bound to be most hilarious ever.
List 1 should include my friend´s experience with a guy (foreigner) who said he would learn Czech just for her etc. which sounds so good you are naturally to believe him (who would make such an effort to learn this fcuking difficult language unless he was serious about you, right?) well, right not...once he learnt he wouldn´t sleep with there and then, he lost interested (in her and learning Czech)...
List 2 should include my recent experience with a guy who wanted to (just) sleep with me - no strings/emotions/dates attached. After initial infatuation with the prospect, I decided not to go ahead and totally ignored his emails, texts, etc. (power trip, anyone?)
Then I receive this text from an unknown number asking me out on a date (!)and when I replied to find out ho that was it turned out it was him using his female colleague´s phone. Just how sad it is use someone else´s phone and to ask on fake date just to get laid???
These are just recent examples but I am hoping to extend both lists significantly in the future. I mean there are so many desperate guys out there willing to say anything just to get laid so I should be in no shortage of material. Plus how brilliant it will be to listen to their wooing (for research purposes only!) only to have none of it and leave them (shagless of course!). Me, nasty, bitch? Never:-)
So if you have any quality material to be added to my lists then go ahead, send me a comment!

Picky just enough Jengelina

apparently that´s me. I´ve done these online quizzes to find out how picky I am when it comes to guys (just enough) and if my dating style is more like of Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston (it´s mix of both...makes me wonder if Brad would date me or dump me???).
Talking about being picky...on saturday I went out with my best mate to a guy-picking-club to find potential dates. I´m quite pleased with the fact that I chatted up or got chatted up by all eligible guys there (some of them not so eligible - especially the 35 yr old, divorced guy with massive tattoos on his massive biceps /eeew/ who told me after two minutes of chit-chat that he didnt like uni-educated girls cos they make terrible housewifes. Apparently choosing career over cleaning and cooking makes me a lazybum and a dirty pig and I will never ever get married cos guys prefer stupid girls who love domestic work. He didnt seem to get the concept of hiring cleaning lady or pursuing a career as the main life aim(he thought that girls who dont cook and clean automatically lie on the couch and watch TV!!!). When asked why women should do the housework and not men, he said that male job is to shove coal into a coal-cellar - I think male job is to make enough money to afford electricity or gas for heating in the first place or hire someone to do the dirty job!) And if you could only hear the way he argued with me (he obviously had to use agressive tone due to lack of any remotely reasonable and acceptable arguments).
I though these guys died out in the last century...they should have had anyway!
The list of uneligible bachelors in the club continues: football players (Beckham is genius compared to those I met there), guy who wanted to kiss me but I said I would only kiss him if he gives me one good reason to do it (which he obviously couldnt come up with) and after while said he actually didnt like girls who kiss with strangers in clubs cos they´re too easy (I bet he´d change his mind if I kissed him) and the list could go on.
The good thing is I practised my flirting skills and got one potential date (although not with a guy I was most interested in there), the bad thing is that there are so many useless guys out there you have to talk to before you come across someone decent (well at least they dont smell so badly as they used to and dont wear social clothes anymore)...

just some funny personals

I came across these funny personal ads on the internet, definitely worth sharing (if you are wondering why am I even looking at these ads then let me tell you that its for pure entertainment only - as you will see):
Hiya, I will go straight to teh point. Could we skip the conversation. I mean, im an average guy, not bad looking.Honest, thing is, I dont like to waste the time. Im looking for a woman who has the same thinking.We could meet for a drink and if there is chemistry, well, we could proceed to something else.If you need 3 dates before having fun, please dont write.
***
a nice, tall, slim, blond?, "clever & smart" sexy, young Lady for "whatever"....who knows it?...if you like to write (with photo please)
(i like the inverted commas that come with clever and smart...)
***
no wonder guys have to post these ads cos clearly a person who can write such things has no chance of pulling in real life!
and the funniest ads are those found in the "Woman seeks Man" section - u wouldnt believe how many guys put their ad there! I mean how do you want to get a date when you cant even read properly???and when you're so dumb that you dont realize women dont usually read this section!

And I almost forgot...

to mention one of the most brilliant thoughts on men I had last night,on the way from pub with Aja, Slepy and Lukas (and I wasnt even drunk): When it comes to men, assume the worst and still then you will end up disappointed!

I know it´s been a long time again...

and in the meantime I successfully (and miraculously - or should I say thanks to my natural intelligence) passed one of the toughest exams of my whole course and got a B (smart me!) Miso, okecala sem to! One of the questions was to explain word "ass" from linguistic point of view. Nice.
Not much new about all the guys. Lunch with cute English guy postponed again due to his girlfriends pregnancy (how sad). I got two guys from whom I havent heard for the whole week to text me at the same time, asking basically the same question (involving me and sex) and they both got the exactly same answer (no that is). Im really too busy and too mature to have no-strings-attached-sex.
Right now Im focusing on my detox more on men. So far I managed quite fine (although passing through aisles with choccies in the supermarket makes me weep) until today, we had an office birthday party and I just couldnt say no to champagne and chocolate cake. Im sure this would make Dr.Joshi weep (he says that occassional slip is ok but by that he means one tiny chocolate square, not an XL sized piece of chocolate cake with whipped cream).
Hope to do some men hunting over the weekend so I hope I havent used all of my luck for the exam. Although I must say passing an exam from Czech grammar is as difficult as getting a boyfriend.

I know it's been almost a week...

since I last wrote a post (and I know how much you guys miss my bright insight and smart ideas) so let's overdose on my wit'n'wisdom:
Guy no.1:
I urged one of my friends who goes to a business school (full of potential high-earning men) and plays volleyball (pretends to anyway) to get me a date with one of his class mates or team players and despite this guy's total uselessness, he did. He came up with this single, tall, (hopefully dark) and handsome guy so I was thrilled yet too busy to actually text the guy and arrange a date. So by the time I got to actually picking up my phone, my friend kindly informed me the guy found a gf in the meantime and fell in love with her. Talk about being late....
Guy no.2:
I decide not to rely on my friends and take action. Once at work I was reading newspapers (aka media monitoring) and came across this interview with this really gorgeous English (did I tell you I got a weakness for them?) guy, only to find out that he went to the same uni in UK as I am applying to for my masters (and he also happened to work in Prague in this major MNC in a top position). Also in his profile it said he was 27 and single so I thought I should really boost my higher education prospects and emailed him if he wanted to meet up to tell me more about the uni. He replied first but then didnt when I wanted to arrange the meeting (date) so I thought: Sod it! At least he should have had the courage to say Sorry Im busy to meet you or whatever.
Two months later I get an email apologizing for being too busy to reply and we actually arranged a lunch. On the day of the lunch, it was my day off at work (not taken for the purpose of a lunch date) so I spent the whole morning makeuping, hair straightening, clothes deciding, accessorizing, etc. So I came to the restaurant, no sign of him anywhere, then decided to call him if he plans to turn up. He apologized, saying he emailed me in the morning (very smart if you got an automatic out-of-office reply) that he couldnt make it cos his pregnant gf had some health issues. Talking about being very very late..... (Im still having lunch with him next week althouhg I will take significantly less time getting ready)...maybe not...men cheat on their gf's right? (then again he apologized like trillion times for that missed lunch so I guess nice guys dont cheat on their pregnant gf's)...why is even having a baby???hes only 27 (and not afraid of commitment so he probably really isnt the cheating kind). Damn it...where are all the commitment phobes?
Guy no.3
With this one my hopes are still up. Following advice read on MSN how to find true love in 2006 (Im sure I mentioned it before, just to recap: choose a friend or relative each month who will hook you up with someone they know, leave elderly relatives towards the end of the year hoping your friends will find you someone cool first). So I asked my ex-fcuk-buddy to do so (and now I know for sure that we're over cos he did find me someone - men who still want to sleep with u wouldnt do it) and Im supposed to meet one of his friends (25, taller than me, has own flat and business). Sounds almost good to be true, I wonder if it is just another of his jokes...watch this space, maybe I will make it on time once in a while.
Guy no. 4
Im getting my very own toyboy. Yes Im officially planning to sleep with this 18 year old I met who happens to be very cute and still at high school (so jealous of him). Welcome to the DemiClub:-)
Guys no. 5 - ?
As if that wasnt enough me and my best mate devised a proper men hunting plan. We decided to ditch clubs like Radost cos you only meet teenagers, tourists and guys with SSI (suspicious sources of income) there so we need to move into clubs where our target male audience hangs out. Unfortunately those clubs happen to play cheesy music but what the hell. I really want to go on dates cos I got so many perfect dating outfits that would make Carrie Bradshaw green with envy and no occasion to wear them to. So if any single, good looking, financially secured men are reading this please get in touch!

Guys, behave yourselves

They should change name of the website libimseti.cz (meaning doyoulikeme.cz - something like Hot or Not?) to something like doyoulikesex.cz (or something like F*ck or What?). I mean really, first you get You´re gorgeous/beautiful/hot and the next thing is I can´t stop thinking about having sex with you. I mean guys we all know it that all you can think about is sex (provided you actually use your brain once in a while) so something slightly more original wouldnt hurt!

Foolproof way to...

tell if he's really into you/serious about you/in love with you. It's in his gifts - if he gives you golden earrings then congratulations (especially white gold - means good catch with good cash and good taste; in fact I will call this a White Gold Theory).
However, if he gives you a photo frame or something similar then run as fast as you can - you are about to get dumped,if it hasnt happened already (you just might not know it yet but but I'm telling ya, anything that involves photos or holders is not-so-subtle hint!(Luckily enough I got the hint quickly enough to avoid being the dumpee...)
My favourite SATC line this week: Perineum - latin for not without an engagement ring...
My favourite tunes this week: Kanye's Gold Digga, Sugababes - Push the button, old skool Madonna

Two threesomes

in one week - awesome! Me and two guys, me,girl and a guy, all just friends though! But I must say it is definitely more fun with three people in bed than just two. Or one...
Also this week I have officialy become P.D. It's a title like PhD or MBA that you put next to your name (but these two are for losers). We, cool single chicks like me or Zuzana, have decided to become the first professional bridesmaids in the Czech Republic, hence the title (P.D. stands for professional bridesmaid in Czech). It will be a long and rewarding career as we are going to be single forever and there are so many sad, unpopular folks out there with no female friends to have as bridesmaids. Zuzana also came up with the title P.K. (Professional Friend in Czech) but I still need to find out how to become one. Usually self-awarding of the title will do...
Don't expect much going on in my blog in the next few weeks, exams and courseworks coming up (but hey, one of my courseworks involves mainly reading Elle magazine...not so bad for a coursework)...

Please meet...

the vibrating rubber duckie I was telling you about and you didnt believe me it existed (right Mickal, Slepy, Polo et al.). Jealous?

Guys,check it out

Or girls, should I say. The most amazing sex toys can be found at www.lovehoney.co.uk and this is no advertising, PR or paid promotion, I just fell in love with their iBuzz and VibraExciter. They' re teeny tiny vibrators that can be attached to your iPod or mobile phone, respectively and vibrate along the tune or phone signal (i.e. when you send text messages or make a call). Now that's what I call music. And phone sex. Simply amazing, definitely worth a Nobel Prize.

Mad busy

As you can probably tell by the frequency of post these days, Im back at work and school with all coursework deadlines and exams coming soon. So there is not much point going back to NYE party since it feels like ages ago, but just for Mickal I will say that it was wonderful, especially sleeping with him and Polo in one bed:-)and playing on Playstation naturally, that was a surprisingly good first time. And so was feeling Anna's baby kicking (football genes, Slepy?!)...hopefully the photos are on their way (hint hint to those who took pics there) so you will be able to see them soon.
I think you should know how to meet true love in 2006, I read an interesting article about that today on MSN. The author said that you should get rid of your old clothes and make space in the wardrobe for your potential future partner's shirts so that you're ready for meeting him. You should also learn to cook in advance so that you can cook dinners once you find advice. Is it just me or are you thinking what the **** too? And btw they meant it seriously.
As if that wasn't enough they also used these statistics, saying that half of Americans are single hence there is someone out there for you bla bla bla. Maybe someone should explain them that if you're not married that doesnt necessarily mean you're not in a couple plus children and widowed pensioners are single too... And then, browsing through the personal ads (for research purposes only!) I realized what the problem was. Most single guys there were ugly, sleazy, fat, worse than just not being your type while the women were all gorgeous, attractive, pretty faces, beautiful hair and possibly with loads of expensive cosmetics and plastic surgeons. No wonder they were all single if there was hardly one decent guy per page! They say opposites attract but why would anyone go out with a disgusting guy who probably looks even worse in reality?

Top tunes of this weekend...

got to be Snoop Dogg and Dr.Dre - Aint nothing but a G thang; Mariah Carey - We belong together; Minnie Riperton - Loving you. No matter how old they may be, this weekend they rocked!
How was your NYE party? More about mine coming soon...