Friday, April 28, 2006

just a brief post...

about my friend whose name I promised not to disclose,anyway those who know my friends will figure out who it is quite easily...well this friend of mine is so desperate to get laid and find true love (yes both at once - no wonder hes failing badly) so he invites girls on dates all the time and then complains that its costing him fortune. I suggested it might be more economic to save the money, forget random dates and pay for a call girl (with sex guaranteed unlike with a date...) but hes too romantic for that...so he keeps on wasting his money on random girls but at least supplying me with funny dating stories....like the one when he invited this girl out once, paid for everything, invited her out again, paid for everything...only for her boyfriend to turn up to take her home...well at least he didnt have to pay for the cab I suppose!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The one about my one-month relationship

so here it comes, as writing of my dissertation is unlikely now (too dark outside to write...a dissertation) and watching CSI Las Vegas too tempting...so remember how I wrote back in March about this personal trainer/law student my friend Edita was meant to hook me up with? well she did. it started like in a movie, I was meant to meet him in a cafe, so I walked in and saw all these geeks until I walked around the corner and there he was. Luckily, he was cute and turned out to be the best heterosexual man I have ever met to talk to. I mean I could talk to him about all these things most guys wouldnt understand (think organic food, third world problems, etc.), not some first date crap. and it felt so natural, like I met my soulmate and we had so much in common at the intellectual level (well except for his idea about women being better at doing housework than men- he thought "a guy sweeping the floor would look odd and unnatural"- women's emancipation hello!). Also I found slightly worrying that he was exactly the same age as my ex-sort-of-bf and lived in the same town...
Anyway we kissed on the first day and I was blissfully happy that I finally found a guy whom I not only fancied but actually could have a meaningful conversation with. Plus he really seemed like the "good" guy I always dreamt about, a guy who delivers what he promises, doesnt play games, doesnt lie, give lame excuses or avoid uncomfortable conversations. Plus Edita said he was into serious relationships so I couldnt wait for the second date. Second date equally great so on third date I stayed overnight in his flat (hint hint you know what happened...well actually you dont - right after we had sex, instead of rolling over and falling asleep snoring, he got up and started cleaning up,folding my clothes into a neat pile - he was obssessed with cleaning although he would prefer his woman to do it). Anyway, in the morning we went to work together and everything seemed fine...thats when everything started to go wrong
Before that night he would text me all the time and call when he said he would call, afterwards no sign of any text message or a phone call. So naturally I panicked thinking I was bad in bed and therefore he dumped without telling me, spent endless nights with Zuzana in pubs with her reassuring me Im just exaggerating so then I plucked up the courage to text him and he replied but in a very vague and unconvincing style. So I forced Edita to find out what happened (god bless mutual friends who can have these uncomfortable conversations on your behalf) and turned out he was an asshole who tried to avoid the break-up talk with me. Apparently he thought I was really great and sweet girl but there was enough spark between us (did he need three dates and sex to find that out???according to research it takes seconds to tell if you want to be with someone or not, not a month!well maybe he wasnt that much into science). so that was my one month relationship. the only I regret about it are my favourite knickers that I forgot in his flat (his after-sex cleaning up wasnt that thorough after all).
I should have listened to Zuzana who warned me against (future) lawyers...I know you told me so!Here's a rule of thumb: guys born in 1979 and living in Kladno are a NO NO NO! please keep reminding me of that...

BTW Anna's baby due in 4 days!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

another emails

worth publishing.better than the last lot.and 100 percent authentic. unfortunately not in english (the sheer brilliance of the texts makes them impossible to translate without losing the magic). Big thanks to Aja and Zuzka without whom these emails wouldnt even exist.

ZUZKA: Ahoj, uz si vylezla z toho pokoje?????????????????? A jestli ano, tak kolik kafi uz jste dali? Stejne jsi uzasna.papapa Ps:nefunguje mi msn,proto ta ma absence. Pokud jsis teda nejaky vsimla, ze :-))
AJA: Z pokoje jsem davno vylezla, neb jsem 4 dny bydlela u Danovy rodiny. Dosily se mi saty, byla jsem dva dny na soutezi...luxus....nic jsem nevyhrala, byli jsme v jednom finale, ale to tady nic neznamena.DNes se musim zacit ucit na zkousku, vubec se mi do toho nechce. Zivot me sere:) JO a zadna kafe nejsou, neboj...protoze aby Aja mela chlapa, tak by se buh musel zmenit...myslim, ze muj vztah s Nejvyssim, tedy respektive Jeho vztah ke mne by se dal vyjadrit vtipem:
Jednomu panovi zkrachuje banka ve ktere mel vsechny sve uspory. Pak prisla vichrice a shodila mu na auto strom.Vyhorel mu dum. A nakonec mu vitr sebral cepici. To uz nevydrzel a v zoufalstvi padl na kolena, sepnul ruce a vola k nebesum: "Boze, za co me tak trestas?" A zhury se ozvalo:"Nevim.Ale nejak me seres."
A co ty, jak pak se mas? Co skola? Zkousky? CO ty a panove,chlapci? Nejaky novy manzel? Dite? Zasnoubeni?

ZUZKA:
Ty jo Ajo, uz ti nekdo rek, ze ti to na tech fotkach ale strasne moc slusi??? jsem se nachytala jak mam usta dokoran otevrena. Asi prehodnotim svou hetero orientaci, ktera je mi beztak k nicemu:)
No jinak, abys vedela, ze u r not alone, tak ti prevypravim legracni historku z meho, neco jako milostneho, zivota. Tak tedy,vystupujici osoby: pan XY(prodava piana,miluju ho asi tak pul roku), ja a moje, (neco jako)kamoska Jana(spoluzacka z plzne, hobby:cheerleading,oblibene slovo:bobanek) asi tak pred 2 tydny jsem se konecne odhodlala po 3 mesicich zajit do klubu Rubin, kde jsem se naposledy velmi opila.a vzala jsem i Janu. Duvod navstevy:videt se s panem XY.Vecer probihal velice prijemne, po koncertu jsme se vsichni tri odebrali jeste do Batalionu, zahrali si fotbalek,pak Jana odjela, ja zjistila, ze jsem ztratila mobil, pan XY se SAM nabidl, ze se pujdem podivat zpatky do Rubinu,jestli tam ten mobil neni, chapes nekdy ve 3 hodiny rano,no proste gentleman, rikala jsem si. Konverzace celkem plynula,jasne ze jsem byla trapna, ale nebylo to jeste tak hrozny. Dalsi pondeli mi vola pan XY jestli jdu na jednu akci na Strahove, rikam jasne jdu s Janou, na to on, ze tam puvodne jit nechtel, ale kdyz prej tam jdeme my dve tak rad pujde. No nemusim ti rikat, jak moc pripitomele jsem se potomhle rozhovoru tvarila. No takze v utery jdem na Strahov, poslouchame hudbu, pak Jana odesla, hura hura hura rikala jsem si, jsem tu s Bozskym sama. Ja mu koupila pivko, on me klobasku, samej vtipek byl,hahahaha, Zuzanka se smala,bylo ji fakt hodne dobre,pak koncert skoncil a on prej jestli bych s nim nezasla jeste do pizzerie nekde v Dejvicich, ja rikam sorry nemuzu zejtra mam skolu,vidina trasy Dejvice - Barrandov me teda moc nelakala, on na to ze prej bych mohla prespat u nej (ja v duchu boze ANO ANO ANO), no kdybych v sobe mela o jedno pivko vic, tak s nim do ty pizzerie a pak buhvi kam klidne jdu. No takze nic, on odjel do Dejvic, ja na Andel s opet pripitomelym usmevem, no znas to a s vidinou brzkeho rande. No a 13.10., v 17:36, tedy asi o 3 dny pozdeji,se to stalo,smska od pana Bozskyho, rikam si huuuraaaaaaaaaaaa to me bude lakat nekam ven, hura huar hura,a pak ctu: Cau,poslala bys mi prosim te cislo na Janu,zadnej extra duvod, dik:) Takze ledova sprcha,kopanec do bricha, ale stale jsem si rikala nevadi, to prece nic neznamena, nepanikarit,cislo jsme mu poslala. No a vecer mi vola Jana, ze prej ji pan Xy teda volal,ze se ji ptal jestli uz ma neco o vikendu a co prej dela pristi tejden,tak ho poslala do haje, protoze to vi, ze mi neni ukradenej. No opila jsem se moc moc moc, vymazala jeho cislo,jenze si ho samozrejme jak na potvoru pamatuju,a to je asi tak vsechno co jsem vam chtel rict.No jestli jses tim prokousala az sem, tak se omlouvam, ze jsem to nedokazala rict v 4 vetach,ale je to pro me takova terapie:) Ale jinak uz je mi fajn. a jeste jednou promin, ze jsem to tak rozvedla.Musim bezet, tak papapapapa.
AJA:
Mila ZUzanko,
tak to ti teda povim, mas ten zivot taky zabavny. JA myslim, ze bychom se na ty chlapy mely vykaslat a stat se profesionalnimi kamaradkami: neboli P.K. Protoze, tva prihoda svedci o tom, ze pan XY byl s tebou rad, bylo mu s tebou dobre, nevadilo mu byt s tebou, i kdyz chtel byt s Janou...coz je vlastne pozitivni...horsi by bylo, kdyby odesla a on rek...tak se mej, ja jdu domu.... kazdopadne obe dve jsme na tom stejne...mne se to stalo taky nekolirat, ze kdyz jsem si rikala, ze po me pali, tak vlastne preze me delal do me kamaradky....
Takze jsem z toho usoudila, ze se stanu P.K.Alena Kusa...a nebo jako akademicky titul: Alena KUsa p.k. dobry ne...mely bychom si vydat nejake manifesto...pravidla nebo tak nejak...napr. 1. za zadnou cenu nikoho nesvadet(ani muze ani zeny) 2. Byt svemu kamaradovi maximalni podporou...probirat s nim zeny, jeho vkus, nahanet mu pritelkyne, neustale mu opakovat jak je uzasnej, chodit s nim nakupovat, aby se na trhu "randeni" prodal 3. Zadnej sex 4. Chodit s nim na pivo a na fotbal. 5. SMat se jeho vtipum 6. Byt jeho doprovodem na akce , kdyz s nikym nerandi a umet nenapadne zmizet, kdyz se blizi jeho objev 7. Kamaradit se s jeho 'objevy' a rikat jim jak je uzasnej, vernej, vtipnej, prej dobrej v posteli, pozornej, bohatej, chytrej....
proste tak nejak...chapes....a pak se muzeme navzajem trumfovat, kdo je lepsi p.k. kdo je svemu kamaradovi vetsi oporou...ci kdo ma vic "kamaradu"apd., kdo mu sehnal vic pritelkyn....myslim, ze je to docela dobra napln zivota, ktera by mohla prinest dost uspokojeni...takova novodoba, potrebna matka tereza pro "obycejne" lidi...tak nejak se vidim:)
Dej vedet ,co si o tomto navrhu myslis, pripadne nejake dalsi napady, jak zformulovat p.k. Manifesto.
Mej se krasne a nezoufej, bude hur.

ZUZKA:
tvuj napad s p.k. je naprosto GENIALNI. K manifestu nemam co dodat. Proste tak jak je, je dokonalej. Nic nechybi, nic neprebyva. Moc jsem se nasmala.Bys mela psat.Fakt ze jo. Jo a dneska jsem se videla s tehotnou Anickou a shodly jsme se, ze jsme obe ziraly na ty tvy fotky z tancovani s otevrenou pusou. No nic, prestavam te vychvalovat, aby ti to nestouplo do hlavy:) jo jenom pro zajimavost, ta moje historka s panem XY jeste pred tydnem dostala zlatou korunu, svedci to o tom, ze Zuzanka nejenom ze dostane kopacky, ale jeste se musi velice ztrapnit. Takze to bylo tak... V patek vecer, z niceho nic, mi napise pan XY. sms znela: cau baby, dneska vecer v roxy blablabla, jestli prijdu blablabla. Tak si rikam hahahaha,jsou 2 moznosti: bud si spletl cislo, takove duverne osloveni, ze...nebo proste dolejza,snazi se napravit tu stranou krivdu na me spachanou. I zvolila jsem variantu cislo 1.tedy ze si spletl cislo a rikam si,udelam si z neho legraci,tak pisu: no cau PUSIKU, to sis asi spletl cislo, co? konec sms.Hahaha.v tu chvili mi to prislo velice legracni, nevim proc. na to mi prijde sms, ze si cislo nespletl a jestli teda prijdu. Tim jsem povazovala celou vec za vyrizenou. No asi za 2 hodky na to mi vola Jana(TaNaKterouChtelCislo) jestli mi taky XY psal to s tim Roxy, na to ja, ze jo a ptam se ji, jestli ji taky napsal takovou divnou smsku jako cau BejBY, na to Jana, ze to cetla jako cau BABY,coz cetla samozrejme spravne, ze.takze trapas trapas trapas. ale nevadi, uz ho v zivote neuvidim, takze se vlastne nic nedeje.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.no takze mi ted uz opravdu nic jineho nezbyva, nez stat se ,,novodobou matkou Terezou pro obycejny lidi".ale bude to krasny zivot. nejvic te pry naplni pomoc druhym, takze myslim, ze budu naplnena azaz.tak papapapa, sestra me tady vyhani apapapapapapapapapap

Ledge, isn't it?

I just realized...

how much is my blog concerned with (non-existing) relationships and men and not fashion at all which is actually my true passion (and I must admit I have been more successful in chasing down rare finds such Stella McCartney for HM items than in chasing down men...well maybe thats why I dont write much about fashion cos you get obsessed with things that you can't get e.g. men - with fashion, no matter how expensive, there is always a way to get it even if it means starving for months to come...plus the number of available perfect handbags is much higher than number of such men..let alone the fact that perfect man doesnt exist).
Anyway if you are excited by fashion as much as by men or even more then check out these blogs:
http://stylebytes.net/
http://hotbisexualmodel.blogspot.com
you will find links to more fashion blogs there too for a real fashion overdose!

oh my god

it has been more than two months since my last post...and I got some wonderful feedback from you guys so I thought you deserved some more of my life....plus it's time to really start my disertation so it's my final chance to start wasting time again!
believe it or not those two months were not wholly dull and there are certain things I really want to share with the world so soon you will find the following posts:
The one about my one-month relationship
The one about Editas birthday party
The one about my birthday party
The one about me and gay men
The one about me being surrounded by straight single male friends
The one about me being given an offer to SOAS, London + postponed lunch/dinner/date with that english guy who studied there (yeah the one with a gf and a baby)
The one about my crush on a cute classmate and text messages from a secret admirer (unfortunately not the same person)
to keep you happy in the meantime, here´s an authentic record of my emailing with Zuzana (unfortunately only in Czech but I know Michal is dying to read something like this):

Background: I suggested to Zuzana that we go out clubbing to pick up cute guys but she was reluctant to go as she had nothing sexy to wear (allegedly)

Sent by me to Zuzana:
doufam ze se uz tesis a vybiras svuj sexy outfit...uz sem te zaregistrovala jako SlecnaBozska:-)takze navrhuju zitra se jit nejdriv nekam predpit a pak presunout...nebudes litovat, bude tam vetsi ratio chlapu (peknejch)...no a pokud ne tak jak sem rikala, muzem vzdycky zdrhnout...

Zuzana replied:
nadale si udrzuju svuj skepticismus, ale uz jsem vymyslela sexy outfit. Jinak ten muj nick cos mi dala - mas za nej pochvalu. Velice vystizny. Tak sí jú ve stredu.
Zuzana, l.i.l., p.k.

(l.i.l. means Loser In Love, p.k. is Profesionalni Kamaradka/Professional Friend - a friend who never lets you down by a getting a bf, leaving you single and with no one to go out with)

My reply:
jen pro info: ten mail koho si vezmes je blbost a vubec nefunguje...nebo mozna jen me zadny fortune cookie neprislo jako ze se nevdam...tobe jo?
c u 2moro
P.S. skepticismu se nezbavuj, ja si ho taky udrzuju ale kdyz chces na neco nadavat tak to musis zkusit nejdriv....

(FYI I sent Zuzana this chain email saying that if forwarded to zillion people you will receive a fortune cookie with a name of your future husband...not that I believe this crap but just to be on the safe side, you know...do I need to add that I havent received any fcuking cookie or husband!)

Zuzana replied:
no me taky nic neprislo. taky se nevdam. takze to vlastne funguje.

I replied:
navic sem znechucena seznam horoskopem-tenhle tyden mam city 90-100 procent to nevim kde na to prisli!!!mozna tak negativni...
jo a vsimla sem si ze existuje i varianta "dnes potencial citove vazby s osobou tohoto zanameni" ale u myho horoskopu se prakticky nevyskytuje (dneska teda jo ale u blizence a zadnyho neznam...)
vidis i na seznamu a rozesilaci spamu vedi ze sme l.i.l., tomu rikam efektivni PR


Zuzana replied:
no to mi povidej. ja mam citovou uroven podle seznamu na 100%. CHA CHA CHA.
napadlo me zda neni LIL vlastne nejaky novy druh choroby? tzn. lilismus. zajimalo by me jak se prenasi. vylucuju geny, nebot osoba s lil se vlastne nikdy nerozmnozi, tak zbyva jen voda ci vzduch. a zrejme je to zatim nelecitelny.


This really happened, not made up!Btw do I need to add we never went to the club and we are still losers in love...maybe because we didnt go to the club...

Short note to Leticia:
Czech women are not mostly blond, well definitely not me or my closest single friends. So you see going to Brazil wouldnt really help although it seems more likely to hook up with a Czech guy there than in here...maybe because all the good guys fled to Brazil:-) I keep smiling though...